This is most definitely not a sympathy post. But I do know that I have a platform to say what a lot of us are thinking. Dating in 2017 sucks. Swipe right. Swipe left. Instant gratification for what used to be three dates and numerous texts to lead you there…
Some of us still want it to happen organically, and dare I say it — actually get married or have a partner for life. By no means am I marriage-hungry… but I am self-aware and know that I like to be in a relationship. And, my life is usually pretty cool and it would be nice to share it with someone.
So here it is; my take on what being single in 2017 is like.
Ha, welcome to my last four years.
- being asked if you have considered online dating. it resembles a broken record. duh, of course I have…it’s all over the commercials. but have you met me? for one, I’m still holding out to meet someone organically and I have better things to do with my time.
- you ask yourself “why not me?” so many times, that you finally stop. again, broken record. especially when you see a couple where it is very obvious that one party doesn’t deserve the other.
- “well, are you sure you’re putting yourself out there? do you really want a relationship?” omg am I tired of hearing this one. I meet new people weekly, but I am a little determined that I’m in the friend zone with quite a few gents. meh.
- you’re dreaming, and your brain’s idea of a racy one is… holding hands. for real. lame. but missing human touch from someone is crazy strong.
- you miss physical touch like crazy. and I lead you right into that one…
- sadly, you second guess yourself in countless ways. there is no sugar coating this one; should I have pursued my passion so intently? should i have dived head first into my blog & understanding social media like I did? ugh.
- you get asked if you want kids; and if you’re going to do anything about it. and then you actually consider freezing your eggs. no joke. I won’t be doing it, but did consider it ever so slightly.
- the universe throws nice guys your way, then says, just kidding. last week was a fun one. ask Bethany.
- I seriously doubt my decision to chop my hair and get the tattoos I’ve always wanted. for reals. chopping off my hair sent me into single-dom with no exit door.
- you know you’re awesome. but start to blame yourself for your singleness. because, well, you gotta reason somehow.
- partnered people think they know it all and still tell you that singleness is the best thing ever. well they need to shove it. really high up there. while a relationship does take a lot of work (I’m not dumb), life is better shared. whether you have a ring on your damn finger or not.
Regardless of your relationship status — we’ve all been there. I just got verbal about it 😛
And even if you’re a version of ‘good luck Chuck’, like me (I have a great record of six guys marrying the girl they dated immediately after me)… I have this to say:
you do you, boo.
And as shitty as it seems, remember you’re a badass. Make yourself happy — treat yo’self.
I have no advice except to say, when you finally do meet the right one, none of this will ever matter. You’ll be glad you chopped the hair, focused on your own passions, etc. Because eventually, you’ll find someone who knows how awesome you are as you are, and that’s the best damn feeling in the world! Rare, but true. I love this real post!
Thanks Nichole! I’m hopeful, there’s gotta be someone who is ok with my quirks ?
Amen sister! Been there, done that, wrote the manual. I have heard/said/done all of the things on your list. I can also add “having a serious conversation with my mom about going the single mom route/menopause” to the list. lol.
I adore you. All of you. You are just perfect and fuck the person who doesn’t see that. Dating sucks. You are so right and I ain’t gonna sugar coat it either. But you are putting you and your goals first and that is so much more important than being in a relationship just to be able to change your status update to “in a relationship”. I promise you, once you drown out the white noise, everything else will fall into place. Love you, girl! xox
I have friends who I can see writing this post themselves. I rarely try to give them any advice because I know that can be annoying…as well as new mom advice, and so on. You do you and never stop!
Tia | Pennies In My Pocket
Girl! I so understand. Being single feels like a curse sometimes. I have tried to focus on just enjoying my life as much as possible until that someone special enters my life. I won’t act like I am all sunshine and rainbows about it though. I am blessed to have some pretty awesome friends but even that’s not enough of a distraction sometimes. Best wishes in your journey and if you ever need a reminder of your badassery, call me.